Friends and Some...

We ask for so much in life. A break from monotony. An escape into stability. Opposite conflicting desires and emotions course through our minds and hearts incessantly. Among such petty nitty gritties are the occasional moments of sheer selfish bliss. And within these fall the random unplanned getaways with friends. Core friends. Not regular occurrings. But that's what makes them so special.

For the sake of valour I shall practice honourable discretion and not implement real names. Instead I shall affix them with special pseudonyms which hopefully will reveal their identities when those others who are already acquainted with the people I shall be talking about read this post. This exercise is mainly for the sake of reporting an intriguing conversation we had (three of us to be exact) at Mocambo while we waited for two others who had embarked upon a sincere and valiant expedition to find an ATM counter on a bank-strike-day. I need not rename myself. The other two yclept The Flying Charmer and His Girlwonder.

The topic of discussion was a brothel. Not any particular one. Just one in general. The Flying Charmer (hereafter FC) revealed his express desire to visit one, simply to sate his curiosity about the whole affair. Then his philosophical banter got the better of him and he launched into a fanciful tirade on his views on love and its appendages. Here I must drop a remark, by way of passing, that FC had indeed let slip that his desire might not be limited to simply curiosity. But, in all fairness, he did use "might".

FC clinically circumcised sex from love maintaining that neither one can "piggy back" on the other. Both were independent entities and actions and their execution could be safely separate and unconflicting. He said that to love he would not necessarily have to initiate it with sex. Or vice versa (do correct me if I am reporting wrong). The gist of what he said was that the Human rationalising about being physically faithful would perhaps be a spiritual constraint, much in Jungian fashion. A social taboo that civilization has indeed enforced us to abide by, albeit reluctantly.

Here His Girlwonder (HG) and I made vehement protests. Incidentally, FC and HG are staunchly devoted to each other, perfect sweethearts and a beautifully synced couple. Us women were unable to take FC's liberalism about the intimacy of sex. As he said he could love separately, and his love would have nothing to do with sex, I asked him, "Say HG grossed you out physically. You were unable to have sex with her. Would you still be in love with her?"

The debate remained unresolved sadly as the whole conversation upset our HG (and justly so) and she shed a few plaintive pearls.

Why am I talking about this? Because I AM indeed intrigued. Like, if there were to be a poll, how many people would vote for the right to sexual freedom despite being in a relationship? It's all very easy to associate the possibility of such indulgences with yourself. Would you however be able to accept the same in your partner? Many of you would say yes, but would you mean it?

Love includes all sorts of weird complications. Demands. Expectations. And more often than not, we create issues regarding reserved space and liberty without realizing that we impose the exact same restraints ourselves. Where can I find one such perfect relationship? Maybe our perception of perfection is faulty. Maybe what we perceive as mayhem is what makes a relationship so perfect. Everlasting. Not much unlike little girls, I still do believe in soul mates and happily-ever-afters. Would not the relationship be perfect if you could always feel a possessive desire for your beloved? A karmic pull if you will. The sort that scorches you. Jealousy. Never a good thing. But does it not express the quintessential fact that you want your beloved for just yourself? And would it also not necessitate the fact that you are yourself so fiercely in love that you do not even desire another, physically or spiritually? That I believe is a complete relationship. And yes, love and sex, more often than not, DO "piggy back" on each other.

We all know that. Somehow. Somewhere. Some time. We had that. Didn't we all? ;)

Here I say goodnight ladies and gentlemen. Sleep well. And love well.